Happy Halloween, wiener!

That is not me. I have a bat costume.


Violent games are best

Is aggression an undeniable part of our nature? If dogs had weapons, would we use them? Are we innately monstrous? Do I look like some kind of atavism?

Forget the hypothetical anthropology. I love a good growl and the occasional snarl. It makes me feel beastly and powerful. I'm a peaceable creature, except when provoked. Or when I'm feeling ignored and I want to play.

My favorite game is "Robber, Robber." I invented it. I take a toy (usually an "indestructable" ball) from the blue plastic bin, and approach one of my humans. I set the toy on the floor and growl "robber-robber," while daring one of them to try to steal the toy. If they move toward me, I grab the toy and run. They chase me around the house. A series of stops and fake-outs ensues. It's almost like football. If no one wants to play, I get a little rough. I deposit the toy directly at the feet of a human, and make demanding sounds. Sometimes they give in, sometimes they say impolite things.

My sister's favorite game is "Bang! I Shoot You!" The human goddess gives the directions:

SIT. Then, DOWN. Then she aims her hand like a gun and says:


My sister rolls over and acts mortally wounded. After a few seconds, the human says "ALIVE!" And then my sister jumps up and gets a treat. I never play this game, but I get a treat just for being there. I love it.



Oppression, thy name is Enforced Bedtime

Doggy quiet time is imposed eight hours before the morning alarm.

I'll have more to say tomorrow, but while you're waiting, would you like to be entertained by some wondrous creatures? Check out Dachshund Pages.


Is it Indian Summer yet?

There was Apache fog this morning.

Leaves are falling. They don't taste very good, but they're fun to step on. The air smells different. A primal instinct is taking hold. It's called hibernation. Any excuse to curl up on a cozy blanket.

Shouldn't someone be baking an apple pie?



I'm an open book

I blame this tail. I can't stop it from wagging. It's hard to be nonchalant when one of your appendages is out of control. The humans think it's funny. They laugh and call us "waggity-wags." The more they say it, the more we wag. It's a wagfest! We're pathetic! Today the human goddess called us "wizzy-wigs." WYSIWYG. That's an acronym for What You See Is What You Get.

Maybe it's a source of amusement, but you know it's part of what makes dogs superior to humans. No duplicity. Well, almost never, and only when there's a really important reason. Like, when we pretend we have to go outside to poop but we really only wanted to chase squirrels or rabbits.


Striking a pose