Violent games are best

Is aggression an undeniable part of our nature? If dogs had weapons, would we use them? Are we innately monstrous? Do I look like some kind of atavism?

Forget the hypothetical anthropology. I love a good growl and the occasional snarl. It makes me feel beastly and powerful. I'm a peaceable creature, except when provoked. Or when I'm feeling ignored and I want to play.

My favorite game is "Robber, Robber." I invented it. I take a toy (usually an "indestructable" ball) from the blue plastic bin, and approach one of my humans. I set the toy on the floor and growl "robber-robber," while daring one of them to try to steal the toy. If they move toward me, I grab the toy and run. They chase me around the house. A series of stops and fake-outs ensues. It's almost like football. If no one wants to play, I get a little rough. I deposit the toy directly at the feet of a human, and make demanding sounds. Sometimes they give in, sometimes they say impolite things.

My sister's favorite game is "Bang! I Shoot You!" The human goddess gives the directions:

SIT. Then, DOWN. Then she aims her hand like a gun and says:

BANG! I SHOOT YOU!

My sister rolls over and acts mortally wounded. After a few seconds, the human says "ALIVE!" And then my sister jumps up and gets a treat. I never play this game, but I get a treat just for being there. I love it.