Me, evil?

Time for a quiz...
How Evil Are You?

I am 22% evil! Here are some excerpts, with my answers:

You've broken the law (A minor ordinance or two)
You've looked at nudie pics online (Only by accident)
You've secretly wished someone harm (Never)
You've kissed someone you shouldn't be kissing (Yeah... I'm affectionate)
You've killed a bug (In self-defense)
You've spit in someone's drink (Maybe a little drool)
You've called someone the "c" word (Cat??? I'd never call someone a cat.)
You've made a promise you knew you were going to break (Not intentionally)
You've done the "walk of shame" (I'm fearless and I have no shame.)
You've shoplifted or stolen from someone (Shoes are my specialty.)
You've vandalized someone's car or house (I shredded a few books and peed in the house.)
You've blamed a fart on someone else (Heh heh, it was the broccoli.)
You have a nemesis (The mailman)
You are disgusted by weak people (No, I love them, they're easy to manipulate.)

Happy Valentine's Day

My sister wants to give you a big kiss.

Puppy Mover Monorail

James Horecka is a genius. I love rides, even pretend ones that just sit there. My daddy could probably build one with all those drills and hammers he keeps in the garage. Ours would have a real motor and it would actually move.

Apologies to Robert Francis

I keep you from going to sleep too soon
Or if you sleep too late
I'll wake you up. Whine any hour
Of night. Come barking up the hall.
Jump on the bed. Scratch on the door.
I make you get out of bed and come
And light a light and let me out.
I tell you the northern lights are on
And make you look. I tell you clouds
Are doing something to the moon
They never did before, and want to show you.
I'll see that you see it. I'll pester you till
You're half as wide awake as me
And you throw on a robe, wondering why
You ever went to bed at all.
I'll tell you the walking is superb.
Not only tell you but persuade you.
I know you're not too hard persuaded.

[based on "Summons"]

What is a pillow?

The dictionary says a pillow is "a support for the head of a reclining person; especially: one consisting of a cloth bag filled with feathers, down, sponge rubber, or plastic fiber."

We have a pillow that looks like an enormous Hershey bar. It's probably three feet long. This pillow is very very very soft. It's fluffy and cushiony and the cloth is velvety. I reclined on this pillow once. It supported my lazy bones and caressed the exposed skin of my belly. I think I love this pillow.

The human goddess walked into the room. She was annoyed. "Get off that Hershey pillow! It's a decorative pillow. It's not made for a twenty-pound dog to sit on and squash."

What a meanie. And so misguided.

"Decorative pillow" is an oxymoron.